Nyah recently told me my husband, Bryan, had said that I have trouble talking to people. "Is that true?" she wondered aloud while she regarded me quietly with her brown eyes behind her glasses. I had to tell her that yes, I did have some anxiety about talking to people. When I confirmed how I felt, she told me suffered from the same issue and I took some comfort knowing that she and I shared such discomfort in social situations.
I've tried to conceal the fact that I'm uncomfortable in social situations outside of my close family....until now. So here's the truth: I don't like to answer the door, I will wait to get the mail if there are people nearby, and I don't always talk to people I know. I often wonder if people think I'm a bitch. I don't mean to be, I just find myself stumbling toward social awkwardness.
The funny thing is, once I force myself to be in social situations with people outside of my close family, I have fun. Yet, that fun doesn't stick around in my brain long enough to remind me that it's okay to hang out with people the next time a social situation presents itself.
I started thinking that maybe I needed to see someone or go on meds for this behavior. That is, until I saw a post on Facebook from my friend, Jack. She had found the definition of an Introvert and had shared the page. As I read it, I realized it fit me to a "T" and described everything I had been feeling.
Turns out, I'm not really stumbling toward social awkwardness. I'm actually just standing on the outskirts, observing.
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