I’ve been a whistleblower.
I have also been outed. At the
time, I thought it was a normal part of the process, but I’ve since learned that’s
not how it’s supposed to be. Here’s the
rub about coming forward. Most people
don’t fancy conflict or being involved in stressful situations, so we steer
clear and try to live our lives without it.
It’s bound to come up every now and then, but the less we can expose
ourselves to it, the more likely it won’t occur. Kind of like things that are supposed to
cause cancer. Well, being a
whistleblower or coming forward about some wrong done to us or in general is
exactly that, isn’t it? It’s a big,
hairy, stressful pile of shit with teeth, because let’s be honest—you get
bitten more often than not.
So, without going into too much detail so as not to “out”
the people involved (see what I did there?), I’ll tell you about the time I was
a whistleblower. I was working for an
organization that will remain unnamed, and I was in the room for a conversation
I sometimes wish I had never heard. As I
heard it, I had a small underlying feeling that it may not be right, what was
being discussed, but not enough that I felt I needed to report it. Until I discussed it with another person that
was basically my equal except for the fact they had more experience and a
better understanding of the processes and rules.
After gaining a better understanding of why the discussion
was not right, I sought out my supervisor and brought it up. This person was normally a great sounding
board and supportive, but they offered an alternative reason. Leaving their office, I felt a bit brushed
aside and wasn’t really sure where to go from there. Eventually, I found myself talking to my
“equal” again and was encouraged to be a whistleblower. I was afraid to do it, and in fact, I didn’t
want to be a part of it at all. But, if
I didn’t do it my “equal” was going to and that wasn’t fair to allow them to
take on that responsibility.
So, there I was, at the ready to report it. Because I was young and hated any kind of
confrontation, I wanted to know the process first. There was some comfort that it would take a
while to investigate and I would not be around when it came to fruition because
I wouldn’t be in my position too much longer.
Feeling the hesitation from me, the person I was talking to told me they
couldn’t investigate anything unless I told them what happened. I sighed and finally shared the information.
Fast forward to about two weeks before I was going to leave
my role, the information flowed down locally earlier than expected. Cue the shit monster with teeth biting me in
the ass. The person I blew the whistle
on was called in to discuss the situation, and when they returned from the
meeting, they knew it was me and proceeded to tell everyone in the office that
would listen that it was me and how awful I was for doing it. Whistleblower outed. Thanks.
But it didn’t stop there. You
would think that the talk would happen for a day or two and then it would die
down, but it went on and happened in offices with open doors and behind cubicle
walls. I wanted so much to say, “I can
hear everything you’re saying.”
I guess my only saving grace was the fact that one
particular day this person was discussing the situation a cubicle away from
mine with two other people and those people disagreed and said they felt what I
reported was correct. Other people in
the office stayed out of it. I remember
another co-worker coming up and giving me some words of encouragement. I can’t remember the exact words, but it was
along the lines of keeping my head up and I’m going to run into these types of
situations in the future.
I’d like to tell you that things got better, but I honestly
wouldn’t know because all the stress of being an outed whistleblower caused me
to leave my role early. I look back on
this one time in my life, and while I don’t regret being a whistleblower, I
regret how it was handled.
The fact that we out whistleblowers or vilify people that
come forward is the very reason why more people don’t do it, and instead suffer
in silence or allow corrupt dealings to continue around them. You might look at a group of people that
surrounded someone or something with ill intent and wonder why no one spoke up
about said intent. It may not be the
case that they aren’t ethical, it’s just that they are scared of being outed
for doing the right thing. No good deed
goes unpunished, it seems.
Other than telling my story or being an advocate for
whistleblowers, I’m not sure how to change how these types of things are
handled. You can write a law, but it’s
only as good as the action to support it, right? I guess that’s a good place to start…not only
have protections for whistleblowers, but continue to uphold those no matter
what. No matter what. There will
always be people that want to tear others down or blame them for their own bad
behavior. Anything we can do to protect
or shield people from retaliation is our biggest weapon against the machine.
