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| Photo credit: Microsoft |
I used to say “yes” to everyone’s requests for help
because I didn’t want to let them down and I always wanted to be accommodating. Sometimes saying yes to others meant I put my
own self and tasks I was working on off to the side while I spent more time
than originally budgeted on helping someone else. Sometimes, I didn’t receive any kind of
reciprocation and began feeling taken advantage of. What I was missing was the idea of
understanding the opportunity cost of helping another person. Was I at least going to get back what I gave
or was my time better spent elsewhere?
You may start something initially where the opportunity
cost is outweighed by the benefit of what you’ll get back by helping someone,
and then once you really get into the meat of it, realize that it’s actually
more involved than you initially thought.
You don’t have to continue to rack up time and energy to the point of emotional
bankruptcy just to come through on your agreement to help. If something is becoming an issue and is more
than you initially thought it would be, go back to that person and tell them
so. If you add some options for them to
finish it or to get more help, you’re not falling down on your agreement and
you are bowing out gracefully.
As I’m writing this, I’m realizing that some people may
read this and think that’s a cold way to approach helping others. Don’t get me wrong, I will help others and do
quite often. Many times, it makes me
feel good to do so and that is my reciprocation—the joy I get in doing
something good for someone else.
However; there are times when I have repeatedly helped someone and it
ended up affecting my own work or me personally. I have learned that during those instances,
it makes sense to weigh the opportunity cost before agreeing to help.
