Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Helicopter parents


Helicopter parents...I love this term, but I can't take credit for coining it.  I don't love it because I am one; I'm actually the furthest thing from it.  I love it because it's the perfect term to describe this couple we know that constantly hover over their two kids, not letting them experience the real world and sheltering them from everything.

As I write this, I can hear Bryan in my head doing his helicopter impression (chew-chew-chew-chew-chew-chew-chew); something he does whenever we talk about this family, which has been a lot lately.

I grew up fairly independent--riding the city bus for an hour to the barn when I was in 6th grade, playing with my friends all over the neighborhood (my mom used a dinner bell to call us home that could be heard a mile away), doing my rather large paper route on my own in the dark, and spending the night at the barn with my friends.  True, I grew up in Juneau, AK where you could do these things without much worry, but regardless I made it to adulthood.

We've raised Nyah to be smart and independent as well so she can problem solve on her own and deal with life in a mature and straight-forward manner.  We never engaged in baby talk with her, she asked a question about life and got a real answer, and I talked to her about sex and drugs when she was five.  She stopped going to daycare in 5th grade and started to walk to school on her own, which, by the way, is just down the street past the three or four homes of police officers.

Because we haven't babied her or subjected her to "helicopter parentism," she's responsible and pretty mature for her age.  As a 7th grader, she doesn't have to rely on us to drive her to school or knock on a friend's door unexpectedly at seven in the morning to see if she can walk to school with them because we won't let her walk alone for five minutes.  Past several homes of police officers.  And did I mention we live right by a Police Substation?

Don't get me wrong, people have the right to parent however they want.  But, when it extends to our lives and the helicopter parent drops their cargo on us at the last minute, I feel it's my right to be irritated that they don't let their kid grow up and learn to be independent.

It's my opinion (and you know what they say about those) that if you shelter a kid and don't let them experience life, it only hinders them later.  Kids need to learn how to be responsible and stand up for themselves.  Mommy and daddy aren't going to be there forever to bail them out or handle a difficult situation--especially in the workplace.  Note to those that were raised under helicopter parents:  your manager or HR Partner do not want to hear about how you can't get along with so-and-so or you disagree with this or that, but you can't deal with it and you want us to do so.  It's not our responsibility--it's yours.

If you're a helicopter parent and you're reading this, I probably have offended you.  Pause, breath, re-read what I've written and try to let your kid experience life.....or buy a pepper spray keychain with an ear-piercing alarm.


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