It's okay to say goodbye ... or to hit pause

Me and Tequila back in the day.

My sophomore year of high school, I had to sell my horse.  The main reason had to do with the fact my parents were divorcing and neither could or would continue to pay for the cost.  Of course I was devastated because he was my best friend and helped get me through a very difficult time during my parent’s nasty divorce proceedings.  I was also at the top of my show game with him, having worked years to get him to that point only to have to give it all up.

Looking back, I realize I was probably close to taking a hiatus from one of my most cherished hobbies – horseback riding.  I wanted the freedom of having my driver’s license and a car of my own to get away from the strained relationship I had with my mom.  In order to get that, I needed to get a job.  In order to make enough money to save up for a car and insurance and to continue to pay for said car and insurance, I had to work a certain number of hours.  On top of that, my classes in high school were keeping me busy, so it was only a matter of time before those took precedence and I cut way back on my riding career with my horse.

Fast forward through high school graduation, various jobs, and college graduation … it would be several more years before I got back into my passion of owning and riding horses.  Much older, I have come to realize I have to be more careful because I do not bounce like I did when I was younger, and apparently, I fall more.  A lot more.  My younger self was a much better rider, obviously.  I try not to let that bother me too much.

Getting back into horses meant I also brought my daughter along for the ride.  Once she started riding and taking lessons, she knew it was something she loved just as much as I did.  My daughter hit this  same timeframe in her life back in 2017 and once again this year.  She has aspirations to be an equine veterinarian, which means more rigorous classes at school and more time spent working so she can make enough money for vet school.  She is very conflicted because she also wants a riding career, but she’s burning herself out and has to realize something has to give.  Unfortunately, it’s the horse career at the moment.  

It’s hard to put something on the back burner, especially something you absolutely love doing.  I get it because I’ve been there.  But, sometimes things we really enjoy, whether they be hobbies or things we do as extra-curricular activities to keep ourselves sane, have to sit on the sidelines until we get past the more rigorous "time demanders."  Unless those things are actually going to be your career, you have to let them go for a little while.  It’s a hard process to go through, but a necessary fork in the road to take.  If you don’t learn to set things aside, you won’t be able to set yourself up to be able to come back to those things, more prepared and able.

At both of these junctures in my daughter’s life, we talked about it and then I listen and listen some more as she verbally worked through the process of letting go.  The first time, she dug her heels in, she cried, she got angry, and seeing her full of stress because she was juggling too much was so hard.  This second time of hitting the pause button I think was easier (although no less sad or disappointing), having gone through it once before.  I listened, I supported her, and looked forward to when she could come back to the sport she loves.  This time, I know she sees the light at the end of the tunnel in that she can always come back to riding when she has more time.