Wednesday, September 4, 2013

My invitation was lost in the mail



From the time we're youngsters, we're meeting new people and forming friendships.  Part of those relationships are the many invites we'll get over the years.  Invites to come over and play, invites to birthday parties, invites to sleepovers.  You get the point.

We grow up and this same thing continues.  It's how we maintain our friendships and spend quality time with one another.  When we're younger, it might be more about being popular or having a strong social identity.  When we don't receive an invite to someone's party that we thought we should have, it sends us spiraling into questioning our popularity and status among our friends.  We ask ourselves, "am I going to be hated by everyone tomorrow?" or "why doesn't she want me at her party?"  It feels bad when we don't get that invitation from someone that seemed to be our friend.

It happens when we're adults, too.  Only, I don't think it's so much about popularity and social identity.  I think it's more about the deep-seated feeling that we want to feel connected to others and know that they still think about us.  It also seems to be more about social norms - you invite people even if you don't necessarily want to because it's the right thing to do and we were raised not to hurt people's feelings.

I found myself in this situation recently.  It was actually a blood relative that didn't invite me to a major event.  It bothered me.  It still bothers me.  Why should it bother me?  

I'll eventually get over it.  I have in the past.  Maybe it'll help if I tell myself my invitation got lost in the mail...

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