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| If I could hide up on a mountain by myself most of the time, I would. You would, too, if you knew how peaceful it is! |
When I was a child, I disappeared. A lot.
I’m not talking running away or anything like that. For example, if I wanted to take a nap, I’d
leave and go down to my room. My dad,
apparently, used to do this same thing and would sleep in the bathtub. Once, when I was supposed to have dinner at a
friend’s house, I conned them into playing hide-and-seek and ran all the way
home when I was supposed to be hiding because I didn’t want spaghetti. Obviously, they couldn’t find me, and about twenty
minutes after I came home, the phone rang with a worried mother at the other end
asking if I was there. Kind of a
shithead move to make, but as a kid it was my regular M.O. I think this is the reason my dad told me
recently that they thought I was a weird kid.
Back then we didn’t talk about personality types and you really didn’t
hear much about introverts and extroverts.
I was also a really quiet kid. I didn’t like to converse much and I walked
lightly whenever I was at a friend’s house to the point where one of my friends’
mothers said I crept around too much. After
hearing that, I stepped out of my comfort zone and tried to be louder whenever I
was at that particular friend’s house, but it was a stretch for someone like me. I liked quiet, I didn’t want to impose and be
loud and obnoxious, and I took the time I needed to be alone. I still do these things. Only, I often wonder if people think I’m a
snob or unfriendly. I’m usually not one
to proclaim my entrance to all within earshot because that would be calling
attention to myself, which I’m not fond of.
Public kudos also give me butterflies, and not in a good way. I’m not one to interrupt two people just to
say hello or goodbye. It’s how I was
raised and also kind of who I am as a person. I don’t do small talk, but I love deep
conversations. Sometimes awkward shit
comes out of my mouth and it’s usually things I’ve stored up to share and haven’t
been able to insert them appropriately into the conversation so they may end up
coming up when it’s no longer relevant, but damnit I need to get it out of my
head and into the air around us!
Welcome to the life of an extremely introverted person. Social situations … yuck. Hate them.
Even though most of the time I enjoy myself at them, it’s still a lot of
stressful anticipation. I have a small
circle of people I enjoy giving and receiving time with. Being this way makes it hard when I need to
sell myself or my books. However, it
bodes quite well for writing. I love to
just be alone in the quiet or with my favorite music to ponder my characters
and what I envision for them next. While
working on my first four books, I did this very thing. I had an office job back then while I was
writing and I enjoyed my morning commutes to Bellevue because it was early
enough that there was no traffic to make me angry and I would have roughly 45
minutes of playlist music to keep me company while I mulled over what was going
to happen to or between Jensen and Mia.
Being an introvert …
I wouldn’t change a thing. I love
my alone time to relax and think about things.
I like the ability to slip out like an incognito super hero. Although I no longer pull the disappearing
act when I’m expected somewhere without telling someone I’m leaving. I grew out of that, thankfully.
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