Fighting and bonding

My daughter, Nyah, once summed up our mother-daughter relationship in this quote:  "we fight and then we bond."

I couldn't agree more.  She and I are so alike that we often clash, sometimes to the detriment of Bryan's ears.  His annoyance with us often permeates the space like the smell of turkey burgers to a pregnant lady.  

We may fight and yell at each other, but like the weather in Washington State, wait ten minutes;  we fight and then we bond.

I've noticed as Nyah continues to grow up that we've become a lot closer.  My love of horses has become her love of horses.  Recently, Nyah competed in her first Dressage show.  I was a little nervous doing her show coaching because she has a bad habit of not listening to me.  I'll admit, I'm probably not the best teacher and I have the patience of a hungry lion waiting for the steak to drop.

But, I took on the challenge and before the show, we fought as I thought we would.  I asked her to tell me if she was going to listen to me if I was her coach at the show.  She didn't answer.  Bryan, sensing a fight, told me to let it go.  My reply was less than diplomatic:  if I was going to spend fifty bucks for her to ride two tests, she better f*#%ing listen to me.  

At the show; however, we bonded.  I helped her warm up on Leana, the horse she was riding.  I had her repeat the tests back to me by memory several times.  As she entered the ring for her tests, I reminded her how important her posting diagonals are and to make sure she gets them right every time; something she seems to struggle with.

During her first test, I was probably more nervous than she was.  My heart beat at a furious pace, threatening to jump out of my chest.  I muttered "good girl" under my breath each time she picked up the correct posting diagonal and smiled as she got Leana to ignore the scary white canopy tent the judges were sitting under when only moments earlier and when Nyah was warming up in the ring before the test started, Leana had bolted in fear.  

After her tests, I had the prideful pleasure of photographing her and Leana with their first and second place ribbons.  As I read the comments from the judge, my eyes kept coming back to the comment that she and Leana were an elegant pair. Later, I watched the video Bryan had taken of the two of them and I heard myself agree with the judge that she and Leana were indeed an elegant pair.  

Watching her, it reminded me that she was growing up and that thought made her statement of our relationship that much more important.  Yes, we do fight strong.  But, when we bond, we bond just as strongly.