In the words of The Clash, "Should I Stay or Should I Go?"

Picture credit: Microsoft

I’m beginning to see why people are leaving this country or have begun looking into taking the leap. 

Once, I left one job to go to another where I would be paid more.  It was a promising position in an industry I was excited to learn more about.  I was even excited to work for my new manager, and all of the people were friendly and welcoming.

I didn’t last more than four months.  I ended up hating almost every minute of my role.  I worked long hours, my manager was a nightmare to work for, the work was too repetitive for my liking, and I didn’t feel like I was really learning anything new after the first month.  My attitude was in the toilet and it got so that I was yelling at my family all the time.  It was no way to be so I decided to leave it all behind, and after walking out the door, I breathed a sigh of relief that I had wiped that negativity out of my life.

I have a point in telling this story, I promise.  First, some background of what’s’ been floating around my head as of late.

For the past month or two, I have struggled to put into words how I’m feeling about the world as we know it right now.  I think about it almost every waking minute of the day and I have to say, it’s beginning to take a toll.  I’m trying to remain positive, but it seems every day I read several pieces of news (yes, they are from reputable sources) that stir up the anger, disappointment, sadness, embarrassment, and dread that refuses to lay dormant inside.

I’m disheartened that our planet and its resources are at risk of depleting quicker because of climate-change deniers and fossil fuel supporters that don’t understand the risk to the earth or people that depend on clean water and land to live.  I’m sad and scared for minorities and the LGBTQ community as programs, laws, and services that support and help keep them safe are at risk.  I fear our relationships with other countries will move from “strained” to “hanging in the balance” and we won’t have allies should we come under attack.  I distress over the future of education and health of our children.  See where I’m going with this?  Do I really need to go on?  There’s a laundry list, I assure you.

Ultimately, here’s where I’m at.  I don’t understand why programs and agencies that have brought mainly positive results have come under fire and have either been gutted or are at risk of being put on the chopping block.  I’d like to think all that has happened thus far isn’t just to line the pockets of the rich, or being done out of spite towards another group although it certainly feels that way at times.  Whatever the reason, all of it scares the hell out of me and the stress is mounting to the point that somedays I just want to leave just as I did with that job that made me miserable.

So, back to my original thought … I get why escaping to another country is an attractive move for many.  I have seriously considered it the last few weeks to my husband’s chagrin.  He doesn’t believe in turning his back to his country.  On face-value I can agree with that sentiment, but in practice it’s getting harder to resist the temptation to go somewhere else where crazy isn’t so prevalent and truth and ethical behavior are not endangered species.