Friend, interrupted

Recently, I did my first unfriending of someone on Facebook.  It was the first time I had done so and I didn’t do it lightly.  I’m not one to go through and purge my friend list because I don’t talk much to this person or that person has different views from my own, and I’ll admit that I do get a little hurt when I see a friend has decided to unfriend me, leaving me wondering what I did to end up on the D list. 

In this particular instance of my own version of unfriending, I got to the point where I just couldn’t handle the bigotry and the negativity about everything that wasn’t this person’s view.  After reading some of this person’s posts, I was left scratching my head and wondering why they seem so hateful and unable to accept that there are different people in this world.  In real life, I never had an inkling this is how they were.  In fact, they were quiet, unassuming, and seemed open to hearing everyone’s views.  Online; however, this person is completely different and I’m left wondering if that’s how they actually are in real life.

I understand that people will have different opinions than I will and I accept that.  As I said earlier, I don’t unfriend people just because they have a belief that I don’t share.  However, it becomes a problem when they aren’t willing to reciprocate with understanding and listen to what others have to say.  It also becomes a problem when they come to the table with unsubstantiated half-truths or say, with conviction, that something has occurred when in fact it’s quite the opposite.  Do your homework, people, lest you make yourself look like an idiot.

This is what I was privy to for months before hitting that “unfriend” button.  I thought about it long and hard before I did it and would often tell myself, “Maybe I just need to give this person another chance.  They have different views and that’s okay, isn’t it?”  Truth is; it wasn’t just about having different views.  It came down to bigotry and complete disregard for the idea of equal rights for everyone and I just couldn’t deal with it any longer.  And, why should I have to? 

For those of you still on my list and wondering if you’ll ever find yourself on my D list...I’m not quick to remove a person from my list and to be removed you have to do something pretty heinous or hateful, and even then I will probably give you several chances before deciding to end our Facebook friendship.  I love that I can connect and keep in touch with old and new friends alike on Facebook.  However, I realize I shouldn’t feel bad about deciding to remove toxicity from my life, no matter where it may lie in real life or online.  Just like we choose to watch a different television channel or listen to another radio station, we can choose to turn off or change the people we associate with.